Zach Kong in Unless you are living in some hidden village or on top of a mountain, most likely you will have friends like what other people do.
However, has it occurred to you that you that your friends do play an important part in you building your self esteem and confidence?
Thus, if you have been searching for ways on how to build back your self esteem and confidence, look no further. All you need to do is to look at the people around, your friends.
Open Your Heart!
When is the last time you sit down quietly by yourself and start thinking about the people around you, especially your friends?
Although we may still call them friends, however, deep inside us we all know that not every one of them are worthy of our trust, time and effort.
Like all relationships, friendships are built on trust. And in order to build trust between two parties, both parties will have to contribute the necessary time, energy and effort in making the friendships work out well.
Therefore, before you learn how to build back your self esteem and confidence, it is important to recognize who are your true friends!
True friends are none other than people whom you consider them supportive of your ideas and dreams. In addition, they are people who are loyal to you and always try to be there for you when you need them.
Of course, they are also the exact same people pulls you back to reality, saving you from all unrealistic expectations from yourself or others.
And most importantly, they must be people who are truthful to you. They shouldn’t seek to protect you from the truth. Instead, they should be the one protecting you from the lies, the hypocrites.
Only from them can you seek back your self esteem and confidence.
Remember: People are liberated by the truth, not the lies!
Be an Action Seeker
You are your habits and your habits are your actions. In short, you are what you are today because of your past actions (or inactions).
Sometimes, it is really quite hard for us to distinguish those “positive†friends from those “negative†ones. After all, people can pretend to be supportive and motivating, however deep inside them, they do not feel that way.
So how do you build back your self esteem and confidence with such “friends†around you? Well, the simplest thing to do is to stay away from them.
Look out for people whose words don’t match their actions. After all, actions always tend to speak louder than words.
Try not to get too engrossed in others’ sweet talk. Instead, let their actions convince you that they are worthy of your friendship.
Stay Near and Stay Far
Well, the difficult part is all finished. What’s left is just the easy task. 
All you have to do now is to associate yourself with people whom you have identified to be your true friends. The people whom you have recognize through their actions to bring you support, motivation, self
Also, they are the same people who share your woes as well. They are always willingly to provide you with a listening ear should you need it. Of course, the route to this destination may not be easy. After all those scrutinizing and observations, you may still find yourself associating with people who drain you of your energy, time and effort and not providing you with any. If so, don’t worry for you aren’t the only one experiencing that. Like any other people, I too associate with the strong person once in a while. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just don’t be too anxious to make too many changes in your life, especially when it concerns other parties. Take it slow and learn to improve your relationship gradually. And most importantly, stay near to those friends who bring positive changes to your life while keeping an arm length from those who tend to affect you with their negative vibrations. Remember: Your self esteem and confidence is at stake if you associate with the wrong parties. If you wish to have better friends, be a better friend yourself. As what the golden rule states, “Do to others what you want others to do to you.†Thus if you wants a supportive, motivating and inspiring friend, be one yourself first. Seek to change yourself first before you expect changes from others. After all, the easiest person to change is none other than you. Offer what you have to others sincerely and you will receive it tenfold back. Thus, don’t be shy to offer your praises, compliments and inspirations to others. So, do you now know how to build back your self esteem and confidence? 
Be a Good Friend First, Find a Good Friend Later
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October 26th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
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October 27th, 2007 at 9:08 am
Hi zach,
Regarding the point: “And most importantly, stay near to those friends who bring positive changes to your life while keeping an arm length from those who tend to affect you with their negative vibrations.”
Some ppl will see this as a kind of pragmatism because u only want to stay with ppl who are useful to you. What are the ways you handle ppl who have a different perspective from you regarding this issue? I mean, these ppl who dun agree with this point doesn’t mean that they are negative. They might just value human relationship more.