Recently I came across one very interesting article about developing one’s anger management skills through attending anger management programs. The author actually gave a very brief description of what anger is in his opinion and why he thinks it is so important to equip oneself with the correct anger management skills.

That particular article did bring some new insights to me with regards to anger management and its benefits. However as I continued to ponder on the article, I began to wonder if learning anger management skills is really essential?

Now, I’m not saying that anger management programs are useless. Although I personally have not attended such programs before, I believe that with proper guidance, one can really transcend from the feeling of anger to other more positive emotions like understanding and empathy, or even care and concern.

Have you ever had an experience of feeling angry over something or someone only to find that your anger is in fact unnecessary and “wasted”?

Have you ever met up with a person whom you have heard nasty things about him or her from your friends or colleagues and because of that, you bear some grudges against that person without even knowing him or her? And when you really meet him or her in person then you start to have a total new impression of that person whom you were once angry with!

How about feeling angry at someone for doing something “nasty” to you only to find that he or she actually means well? For example you were walking along a road and someone gave you a big, “nasty” push from the back? What would be your first reaction? Angry, right?

Now what if I tell you there was a flower pot falling from the top and that big, “nasty” push was actually to prevent you from getting hit? Now, how does that feel?

In fact, majority of the anger you experience may be due to your unwillingness to look at the big picture with a different persepective.

Of course, there are real legitimate angers. For example someone purposefully scratch your car (I hate that! My car now has 2 scratch marks which I don’t know what to do about it!), a hit-and-run, robbery, rape etc.

However, are these really the reasons why you are rushing to attend anger management programs? Or is it just because of your neighbor’s dog barking non-stop throughout the night, your children constantly getting on your nerves, your over-demanding boss etc.

When you start to look carefully in your life, those things that really “get on your nerves” or “makes your blood boils” are really just some minor day to day stuffs.

In fact, more often than not, you will find that it is actually the same exact things that happen day in and day out that are really affecting you negatively.

Once you recognized those daily irritatig stuffs, you have to take actions to deal with them. Either you remove them or if not, you just have to take a different stand, view the situation at the different angle.